The Author

Many times I have been asked to write about MY STORY that ended in my personally experienced Awakening. Though I clearly know that God is my life, I have no life but His, I re-live moments of energy frequencies that remind me of the moment of utmost devastation when I still believed myself to be human, experiencing the bottom of being here in a world which I designed as the denial of God….
I want to share my story with you because it is a miracle that we meet here again and will leave this world in an instant of recognizing the entirety of the dream to be forgiven, blessed and loved. Truth is that in fact we have already left, and this whole story with its characters and experiences is over….
I would like to start with a childhood memory that I had almost forgotten while I was studying and busy in my dream world. But now that I can remember it, I see that things had naturally to fall in place leading me back home to God.
During the early times of my childhood I was, very confidentially speaking, with my angel that I physically personalized from a picture I had above my bed. Many times I asked my angel for help. This angel was my main comforter… Another comforter who would simply listen to me without questioning or judging me was our polar dog. I was a very innocent, sensitive and sensible child and loved to play with animals, without making any distinctions between those I was told were “alive” and my little plastic figures. I loved them all and communicated with them without discrimination. I was devastated when my dog was shot just because he was pinching people at times. In retrospect I have to admit that none of my relationships I had here in the world ever worked. I remember very well my deep desire in these moments to leave this place of despair and despondency, but also knew somehow that it could not be by death.
This sense of lack of power I used to compensate for with hyperactive sports-activities; by playing ice-hockey, soccer (European football) and athletics (running). I used these activities for different purposes. First they were an easy and socially acceptable approach to temporarily release the anger and fear, in fact all the rage I felt against the world. They allowed me to get even with the adversaries and enemies in my mind. I was literally taking revenge on God by projecting my own fear and attack thoughts on my brothers, believing that I would need to protect myself, my team-mates or colleagues. I was quite successful in these sporting “performances,” and was even paid for them….
That I was playing hockey on a level of competition for 15 years and would have continued to play if I had not suffered a severe knee injury, showed me that I was heavily addicted. I was mostly addicted to adrenalin and dopamine, two substances which I did not even need to take in, because they were produced in my body cells as part of these sports’ activities. These substances affected my brain in a way which provided me with an emotional experience, one I allowed myself and wished to ‘feel’. Adrenalin (the “emergency hormone”) was as well produced in situations of distress and great conflict, which I had suitably arranged during my exams and within my relationships. I was on a “home-run,” trying to run away from the world I made up in my own mind. And to have at least temporarily a successful experience in these ‘games of no escape’, I used to be a good player who found excitement in shooting goals, or passing exams, or being a good lover, etc. Over and over again I wanted to repeat the game, the events that brought me release from the tensions I had accumulated, that allowed me to feel happy and content with myself. In these moments my brain cells were flooded with dopamine (a neuro transmitter substance in the brain)…. In addition to these substances I would regularly socialize in other addictions as well, such as alcohol abuse, and at times in drugs….
Because of this emptiness I felt in my ‘life’, as well as a painful death experience that occurred for me while coming back from anesthesia after surgery, I began to look for other solutions in the world. At about the end of my University studies, by the year 1985, I started to exchange my limited life-style with all kinds of Eastern Teachings and New Age offerings, and accumulated ‘knowledge’ and related experiences over the next seven years.
I changed my diet and way of living according to the macrobiotic philosophy of Yin-Yang balance and later on to a balanced vegetarian diet, started practicing Yogic techniques, and went on with Tai Chi, Reiki and Shiatsu-massage. I also became interested in Astrology, Metaphysics, Philosophies (Anthroposophy, Atheism, Agnosticism), Eastern traditions and scriptures (Advaita, Bhakti-, Karma-Yoga etc.), Shamanism, alternative healing arts like Homeopathy, Bach-Flowers and Herbal treatments, Yin-Yang diagnosis, Chi Gong, Acupressure, traditional and Color-Acupuncture, Ayurveda etc. Besides all these I had a passion for improving the conditions under which farm animals suffer when held in captivity, and created (with the help of a small group of veterinarian students) a “Freerange”-project that involved organic farmers, traders and whole-food-stores. As you can see, I created for myself unlimited opportunities to fight for a solution that would allow me to establish myself as a better human in a better world. But what did not leave me in this spiritual human condition was the tendency to crave for beautiful and peaceful conditions, and always wanting more of the same. There was never enough of what felt good for a moment, and whatever it was, it was never good enough. As a human I did not know anything other than ongoing inevitable experiences of lack and needs.
After having been promoted to the degree Doctor Medicinae Veterinariae in 1989, I was already so fed up with the reflections the world presented me, that I decided to let them all go for a moment in order to experience something completely new. I was clear that I would travel the world and start the journey anew by visiting spiritual and spectacular places all around the earth and especially on the North and Central American Continent. I did this for the following year. I realized that there was so much more waiting for me to be discovered and remembered. I was aware that by taking a job as a Veterinarian, having a family and raising kids for decades, I would simply amass money I could never spend because of the intense preoccupation which the job involves. I thought the solution was somewhere out-there….

	Can there be a NAME, a word for the eternal Creative Power in me? There is no name I can possibly give myself that would be true in naming It, for *I am as God Created me.*... This is the Word by which the Son became His Father’s Happiness, His Love and His Completion. This is what I offer you to experience personally by means of this book. This is what “you” already ARE. And if you so decide to allow this to be true for you, YOU – in direct communication with the Holy Spirit, with the Mind of Jesus of Nazareth – ARE the author of this book as well as of *A Course in Miracles*…. Any name that is used as the author for this book and could possibly be a part of my mind (such as the names our fathers gave us) means, as an explanation for the authorship of this book, really nothing or everything in its all-inclusiveness. It stands, only for a moment conceptually, for myself. But in fact the eternally Creative Reality as a “Bringer of Light” to the world (what the meaning of Devavan, the name I am called, can be) is what my true purpose for writing this book is, what I am, what you are, and thus far beyond any possibility of explanation. (Intro/ p. 2
		Many times I have been asked to write about MY STORY that ended in my personally experienced Awakening. Though I clearly know that God is my life, I have no life but His, I re-live moments of energy frequencies that remind me of the moment of utmost devastation when I still believed myself to be human, experiencing the bottom of being here in a world which I designed as the denial of God…. I want to share my story with you because it is a miracle that we meet here again and will leave this world in an instant of recognizing the entirety of the dream to be forgiven, blessed and loved. Truth is that in fact we have already left, and this whole story with its characters and experiences is over…. I would like to start with a childhood memory that I had almost forgotten while I was studying and busy in my dream world. But now that I can remember it, I see that things had naturally to fall in place leading me back home to God. During the early times of my childhood I was, very confidentially speaking, with my angel that I physically personalized from a picture I had above my bed. Many times I asked my angel for help. This angel was my main comforter… Another comforter who would simply listen to me without questioning or judging me was our polar dog. I was a very innocent, sensitive and sensible child and loved to play with animals, without making any distinctions between those I was told were “alive” and my little plastic figures. I loved them all and communicated with them without discrimination. I was devastated when my dog was shot just because he was pinching people at times. In retrospect I have to admit that none of my relationships I had here in the world ever worked. I remember very well my deep desire in these moments to leave this place of despair and despondency, but also knew somehow that it could not be by death. This sense of lack of power I used to compensate for with hyperactive sports-activities; by playing ice-hockey, soccer (European football) and athletics (running). I used these activities for different purposes. First they were an easy and socially acceptable approach to temporarily release the anger and fear, in fact all the rage I felt against the world. They allowed me to get even with the adversaries and enemies in my mind. I was literally taking revenge on God by projecting my own fear and attack thoughts on my brothers, believing that I would need to protect myself, my team-mates or colleagues. I was quite successful in these sporting “performances,” and was even paid for them…. That I was playing hockey on a level of competition for 15 years and would have continued to play if I had not suffered a severe knee injury, showed me that I was heavily addicted. I was mostly addicted to adrenalin and dopamine, two substances which I did not even need to take in, because they were produced in my body cells as part of these sports’ activities. These substances affected my brain in a way which provided me with an emotional experience, one I allowed myself and wished to ‘feel’. Adrenalin (the “emergency hormone”) was as well produced in situations of distress and great conflict, which I had suitably arranged during my exams and within my relationships. I was on a “home-run,” trying to run away from the world I made up in my own mind. And to have at least temporarily a successful experience in these ‘games of no escape’, I used to be a good player who found excitement in shooting goals, or passing exams, or being a good lover, etc. Over and over again I wanted to repeat the game, the events that brought me release from the tensions I had accumulated, that allowed me to feel happy and content with myself. In these moments my brain cells were flooded with dopamine (a neuro transmitter substance in the brain)…. In addition to these substances I would regularly socialize in other addictions as well, such as alcohol abuse, and at times in drugs…. Because of this emptiness I felt in my ‘life’, as well as a painful death experience that occurred for me while coming back from anesthesia after surgery, I began to look for other solutions in the world. At about the end of my University studies, by the year 1985, I started to exchange my limited life-style with all kinds of Eastern Teachings and New Age offerings, and accumulated ‘knowledge’ and related experiences over the next seven years. I changed my diet and way of living according to the macrobiotic philosophy of Yin-Yang balance and later on to a balanced vegetarian diet, started practicing Yogic techniques, and went on with Tai Chi, Reiki and Shiatsu-massage. I also became interested in Astrology, Metaphysics, Philosophies (Anthroposophy, Atheism, Agnosticism), Eastern traditions and scriptures (Advaita, Bhakti-, Karma-Yoga etc.), Shamanism, alternative healing arts like Homeopathy, Bach-Flowers and Herbal treatments, Yin-Yang diagnosis, Chi Gong, Acupressure, traditional and Color-Acupuncture, Ayurveda etc. Besides all these I had a passion for improving the conditions under which farm animals suffer when held in captivity, and created (with the help of a small group of veterinarian students) a “Freerange”-project that involved organic farmers, traders and whole-food-stores. As you can see, I created for myself unlimited opportunities to fight for a solution that would allow me to establish myself as a better human in a better world. But what did not leave me in this spiritual human condition was the tendency to crave for beautiful and peaceful conditions, and always wanting more of the same. There was never enough of what felt good for a moment, and whatever it was, it was never good enough. As a human I did not know anything other than ongoing inevitable experiences of lack and needs. After having been promoted to the degree Doctor Medicinae Veterinariae in 1989, I was already so fed up with the reflections the world presented me, that I decided to let them all go for a moment in order to experience something completely new. I was clear that I would travel the world and start the journey anew by visiting spiritual and spectacular places all around the earth and especially on the North and Central American Continent. I did this for the following year. I realized that there was so much more waiting for me to be discovered and remembered. I was aware that by taking a job as a Veterinarian, having a family and raising kids for decades, I would simply amass money I could never spend because of the intense preoccupation which the job involves. I thought the solution was somewhere out-there….
	In this time of MAKING THE DECISION to turn my back on the world, my physical father died. Though I felt the pain and sadness of the grievance I held against him, and the associated guilt, I knew that he was still with me and in fact could not go anywhere. But I also felt the relief of being independent and free of my own self-made family authority. So I continued traveling to explore and to find for myself what I was determined to gain: Enlighten-ment, as I called It. The peaceful experiences in nature and incredible insights given me were the motivation to move further and further, and I began to question myself – what I had previously defined myself to be and the world I saw….
		All this led me to an EXPERIENCE OF ONENESS that would bring about a significant change in what I called ‘my life’ since the beginning of 1990, but really was just the beginning of my journey back Home. … just under the ruins of the Maya-Pyramids in Palenque, Mexico, in the beginning of March 1990. Some notes I wrote in my diary about this experience follow: A new thinking took place; a Being there-in. I became the event myself, each moment anew, and had the knowledge that there is only this moment. I looked around and whatever I saw I recognized as ALIVE, as a living Being, a living Spirit, as pure Light. It became clear to me that I was not separate from anything, but that we are all ONE, all one Divine Consciousness, one Singular Creative Power, just appearing as some dream figures that are simultaneously converted to the Light That they really are.... Instantly I knew that there is NO death, but that God and Love is in me and lasts eternally. It revealed to me how great LOVE can be in me and that It IS THE MOST IMPORTANT and makes the only sense in my life. I was grateful and clear that everything will show up here for my salvation, in this moment, and reveal itself as what I am and what I had decided for. Time was clearly seen as non-existent. I found myself only NOW as all there is, happening spontaneously and simultaneously….
	But I was also amazed how much I found myself being able to love all the beings that were around me. It had nothing to do with the body…. This Experience did not occur for me as result of my efforts as expressed in a “spiritual-seeker-identity.” It happened by Grace…. Though I never doubted this experience to be a real one, I was still looking for a teaching I could apply in daily situations to stay in a certainty and constancy of truth. But it was this experience that consequently brought me on the way to India, meeting acknowledged Eastern Masters like Papaji, Ammaji, Gurumayi and Sai Baba, those who it was reported would always be in this constant Realization. I also visited ashrams where Saints had lived and I could sense an incredible Presence; I literally was with Ramana Maharshi and Sri Aurobindo in South India, or Osho in Poona…. I finally recognized that my journey was over shortly after my arrival in Lucknow, India, where I was with Papaji from 1993 until 1997 and had a direct experience of the collapse of my time-space creations revealing that THERE IS NO WORLD. But it was and is by the grace of Jesus Christ in Master Teacher, and through my Brothers offering me *A Course in Miracles* since the beginning of the new millenium, that I reasonably realized I am the cause of all I see. Henceforth it is my responsibility to include everything into my Light conversion, and give myself away in the creative extension of mySELF, because there is no-one else here… Taking full responsibility for my own making of this perceived world, I could no longer ‘sit’ on the denial of truth, thus justifying the falsity of it all. I was now willing to learn and teach about the truth anew. I admitted my denial and took a look at all the idols I made up. The time was right and I found myself in Australia’s Miracles Healing Center where I received as a Christmas present the recorded volume of *A Course In Miracles… Since there is only God’s Will, it was inevitable that I travel to Wisconsin, USA, to see Master Teacher,* lovingly called DEAR ONE or “The Old Man.” The moment He entered the “session room” where I was waiting for Him with other brothers, I felt such an indescribable Power surrounding me that I could just outrageously laugh as I had for days upon having my incredible Awakening Experience. And guess! ... I remembered that I was gone. I could no longer locate myself in this illusionary time-space continuum…. Since I admitted the problem as mine, He also showed me that the solution is nowhere and in no-one but me, and that there is no-one else here. He gives me everything to lead me to the certainty that the SALVATION OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON ME. That is literally the same as ‘walking in His footsteps’. He offered me ETERNAL LIFE without sickness, pain, suffering, loss and death, and I accepted. My imagined personal “will” and future I have handed over to God and let Him lead the way. It’s all over and gone. It only appears that I live now in Wisconsin, USA, and participate in a complete transformational process and a celebration not of this world, yet apparently offered by the Endeavor Academy and Miracles Healing Center. I am only remembering how I left this world…. I do know now that I am doing nothing here but re-living this single moment when terror took the place of love. My individual transformation allowed me to see things in a new way. Through it, I recognize this Singular Reality in all of Me, every moment anew, by truly reliving the Experience of my own Awakening. It is an ongoing, never ending celestial celebration that is experienced as a physical Resurrection. It guides me to the total remembrance of the experience of my Ascension with Jesus Christ and all the Great Masters in The One Light Association, the changeless and boundless Joy and Love that is right now available and present throughout the whole universe. All comes along with me to my Father, into His Kingdom, and will rest in Peace for eternity. In this happiness I welcome YOU Home, in Heaven, being God’s Son, complete and healed and whole. PEACE FOR EVERYONE; ON EARTH AND IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE; PEACE FOR US, ALL OF ME; PEACE – PEACE – PEACE — OM TAT SAT — AMEN Home